This weekend was my birthday, and I went to Madison to celebrate with my friend Brennan and the Brazen crowd. We had a blast! And not for the reasons I originally thought…
When you are spending time developing online relationships, through twitter, blogs, or communities, you get an image of the people on the other side of the profile pic. You assume, now that we don’t have to totally fake who we are, that the people in person are going to be pretty similar to the persona on the web. And for the most part, it’s true.
And then you start talking to people, and the exciting stuff happens!
See, you don’t really know all the ins and outs of your internet friends. You are really only getting a glimpse of the whole person, and even if everything online is totally genuine, it’s still only one layer of many. When you meet in person, you have to find those other layers.
You talk about art movies like Frida and Pollock.
About driving on I-95 from D.C. to Richmond and avoiding the Emporia, VA speed traps.
That every song at the piano bar is “Your birthday song!”
Discovering that apparently you are totally gullible and continue to think a non-intern is actually an intern.
And you NEVER expected one of them to break out the Mick Jagger impersonation.
I think to myself, “Why is this so different from the other times I’ve met other online people?” It’s because we’re there to hang out, not network! We’re there to have fun, not get ahead. It’s one of the first times in a while that I’ve gone out in a group and didn’t feel compelled to bring my business cards.
Now, this may have been a special situation: if I met people who weren’t already connected to me directly, there’s only one degree of separation. We’d find each other online very easily.
After this weekend, however, I’ve decided that if I continue to travel, meeting my online friends, that I want to have fun. We can talk shop, but we can also -GASP- get to know each other! Isn’t that what real friendship is about anyways? I don’t want my relationships to only be about getting ahead fast professionally, but about connecting beyond that superficial “Nice to meet you” handshake.
Do you find that when you visit those you’ve met online that you can put away the business cards and really get to know the person? How often to you seek out those internet connections? Are any of them surprising you?
*Update: Dan Schawbel has a great post on Brazen about the Value of Virtual Relationships, a bit more evidence for you.
Emily: Sounds like you had a great trip, and a Happy Birthday! I’ve been fortunate to have met a number of online friends in real life. We always do something social like get a drink or go out to dinner, and we rarely talk shop. I’ve never given out a business card, and although we’ll sometimes talk about our jobs, it’s not for networking purposes, it’s just to get to know each other better. So, I wholeheartedly agree. The best thing to do when you meet your online friends is have fun!
Hi Sam, thanks for the bday wishes! I think this is the first time I really wanted to only have fun. Naturally the internet world will come up in conversation, but it’s not mandatory. I’m hoping to have a few more road trips in my future, and I hope that meeting people in those cities will be just as fun. I also think it’s a great way to plan travel! Visit people you want to meet, see those cities, get the inside scoop on the best burger or microbrewery. So if I’m ever in the NY area, I’ll be looking you up!
I love this post because I really, really hope that all my blog adventures and encounters really results in more friends over networking contacts. This gives me a little hope that I too can make some friends through this big adventure.
It’s funny you say that! See, when I’m back in DC, I highly doubt that I’ll be “networking” when I arrange to have some Hard Times chili with you…maybe it’s cause Hard Times and networking don’t seem to go together, OR because I’ve decided you belong in the Friend Bucket. Or File, or whatever I’m calling it these days, instead of the Networking Bucket. And I know that means it will be WAY more fun!
Awesome post, Emily! Glad you had a good weekend in Madison. I definitely like to keep things more in the “having fun” camp when meeting my online friends, but I also find that meeting IRL helps deepen those connections that may have career/networking dividends down the line. Of course I’ll care more about helping you out or letting you crash at my pad after I’ve met you in person – seems only natural. And I love that magic that happens when you meet an online friend and realize the connections go way deeper than you expected. Good stuff!
Hi Jenn, I totally agree, you don’t rule out the possible benefits down the line, but if you want something meaningful and sustainable, you can’t exactly come across as professionally needy. Plus, I’m so surprised at the neat things I keep finding out. People are SO interesting, and I think when you’re in über-networking mode, you may miss that.
Totally jealous of your awesome birthday!
What a lovely day it must have been 🙂 I’m glad you took the night off of “networking” and got to know folks and talk all kinds of good things. Here’s to a fab new year for ya!
I hope it’s going to be a great year. I’m going to do my best to make that happen!!
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