There were two posts over the last few weeks that had me thinking: Women in the workplace have all kinds of pressures, with wardrobe being somewhere high on the list.
Most mornings I get ready for work at the gym. Now that I’m swimming, it’s easier to go ahead and shower there than drag my chlorinated self back home to change. Not to divulge any ladies’ locker room secrets, but I wanted to share an observation with you.
One morning, another swimmer (female, probably 40) and I finished our workouts at the same time. We then hopped in our respective showers, and finished about the same time there. We apparently had lockers in the same bank, so it looked like we were going to get dressed in the same area as well.
What I noticed was that she looked like the kind of business woman I didn’t want to be. I’m going to be honest: I was judging the book by its cover. But that’s what we call a first impression, isn’t it?
In the same 15 minutes it took us to dry off and dress, here were the results:
-Her: Plain blue t-shirt, cotton black pantsuit, black socks, orthopedic black shoes, and combed wet hair
-Me: Grey slacks, blue satin top, black sweater, black socks, walking shoes, blown dry hair, make-up, and jewelry
She left as I was getting my last earring in.
Now, there may be a few reasons she dresses pretty conservatively. She could be in finance. My college roommate told me her finance professors not only told her to dress as conservative as possible, but how long her hair could be. The woman from the gym could be an old school banker. She could be a mom with kids and conservative suits are the most functional. She could have had an injury that forced her to wear orthopedic shoes. She may be green and think blow drying her hair is a bad use of energy.
I may never find out those reasons, but if I needed to hire her for some services, wet hair isn’t going to get her the job.
On the other hand, I think my appearance is very important for my work. I may not wear a suit every day, but I do follow the “three piece” rule of top, bottoms, jacket/sweater. But I try to let my personality show. All the way down to my shoes (kind of like that red shoe in the DSW commercial). And I have my hair and make-up done every day. Something that really only takes a few minutes, but it can make a huge difference.
Just as there are those out there who find jeans a type of uniform, I feel the same way about my Nine West pumps. After all the conversations about women role models and attempting to do it all, the locker room observation makes it all the more clear: I can be Super Woman. I can have a successful career, become a wife and mother, balance friends and family, all while looking great. I don’t have to sacrifice pride in my appearance to accomplish everything else.
Especially if it only takes 15 minutes.
The views expressed in my blog are my own and do not necessarily reflect those of my employer.
I know we all have our days of not wanting to put in "all" the effort it can take to look the part, but in the end it is worth it. Someone once told me, "dress for the job you want, not the job you have." My workplace is business casual, but I find that the more driven people often wear more professional attire. You are right as well, sometimes the smallest amount of effort can really make a difference. Now I certainly don’t think that what people look like and wear is all that matters, but I do think it can make a difference during that all-important first impression.
Thanks Amanda, I'm glad you point out understanding how you want to be perceived. Depending on the environment, superiors could expect a certain look. If you're willing to take ownership that your appearance could affect your first impressions, then I would say make whatever decision makes you happy.
Have a good one!
Great post! I like how you gave your locker room buddy the benefit of the doubt. You came up with a lot of possible reasons for her choices and we'll probably never know the real one. That reveals alot more about you than your outfit and grooming-which I agree are very important. Your company is lucky to have you turn up to work for what you have on the inside as well as outside.
Heather, those are really kind words. I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts on my blog. One lesson I have learned is that each observation includes a number of sides I don't always include. While my opinion is mine, writing her is forcing me to consider other perspectives. Thanks for the comment!
I think women observe other women far more than men do with respect to work-place attire. I don't want to make blanket observations, but in my experience most men could careless. We notice on the days a woman might look "more attractive," but we don't typically expect that to be the norm.
Ryan, thank you for bringing this perspective! After you talked about men maybe not caring as much, I thought, that should make sense to me, I grew up in a household of strong male role models. Then I realized, nope, not quite the same. I grew up in a Navy household. The uniform is an exact representation of who you are professionally. From colors to stripes, stars to bars, flags to wings, a sailor can instantly tell a lot by a uniform. Not to say it's an excuse, but growing up in an environment like that could lead to a judging perspective. So not only do I care about how other women dress, but I care about supposed "uniforms" for certain jobs and roles.
Thanks for commenting, your note got me thinking in a whole new direction!
My good friend and I discussed this post in length the other day. In our lives, I wear the 4-inch heels and she wears the sensible shoes. We both have very different goals for where we want to end up in life. I'm quite sure I want to be in technology management and she knows that she wants to be a software developer. Developers are pretty casual, so it's usually easy for my friend to dress for the job she wants. Perhaps this woman has the job she wants and is dressing for it.
I'd also like to point out the generation difference. You seem quite aware of it most of the time since you've created a blog based on the idea of Generation Y. This woman is not from Generation Y which means it's highly likely she has different values. This woman may not value appearance the way Generation Y does.
And to be honest, I'm not sure how good of an interview you'd be conducting if you decided not to hire someone based their wet hair as opposed to the work he/she actually does.
Overall, I just can't agree with you on this. You seem to be speaking specifically to first impressions, but first impressions aren't the end-all be-all of impressions. In reality the impressions that count more and the little impressions that people get of us on a daily basis: are we enjoyable to work with, do we get things done, do we complain a lot with no action? Even in an interview process, someone usually has at least an hour to make all of those smaller impressions that are more lasting.
@ed, I'm so glad you brought up impressions beyond the first. We all hope that merit and accomplishment will speak for us beyond appearance. I know for me, I've experienced the reverse. As a sales person, I ended up in a scenario where after a number of calls, I was granted a face-to-face meeting with a client team. The day before the big meeting, I met our client contact at one of our events. He called me that afternoon to tell me that his organization would never purchase from me if I did not bring someone older to conduct the pitch meeting. That despite our phone calls, demonstrating merit of the organization and a team led by myself, my age and appearance (even in my most formal business attire) almost immediately lost me the client. As my boss at the time called it, we needed a "gray-haired figurehead" that the client could trust. I didn't agree with them, and still don't, but I understand their perspective. I learned the lesson that impressions can speak over merit any day. And while that lesson should make me more sensitive to looking for the merit in others above appearance, I hold myself more accountable. I assume my appearance is always coloring my accomplishments and the value I bring. In my industry, to not acknowledge that would be silly. So while the other woman may have plenty of reasons to dress the way she does, and may be quite happy, I have my own reasons to dress the way I do. And people make assumptions on that every day.
Thank you for the comment!