I’m making the executive decision to put networking on hold.
“What??!??!” you say. “How can you possibly do that??” Well my friends, I’ve decided that since I’m moving from here in a couple weeks, only to do a brief stay in St. Louis before heading to Virginia, I can’t deal with shaking the hands of people who only want to know me to get a job.
I am done with those people. People who have no idea what a blog is, can’t even update LinkedIn, and consider Consultant at Myself, Inc. to be a real job title. I know that unemployment is still out there, and the last two years have sucked for people. I know.
But I can’t take it anymore! If you are still in a position to buy an $8 martini, surely you have internet. With the internet (where you may have even found out about this event), you can do some homework on the people who might be coming, interests this group may have, and not stick out like a sore thumb.
You people don’t get it. We are in an internet world.
At this point, I only have my website on my business card. If you can’t figure it out from there, then tough cookies. We wouldn’t have anything in common anyways. And if you’re in marketing (hoping that I, myself in marketing, can help you out), and my website still confuses you on how to get in contact with me, then NO, I will not recommend you for a job.
“But I want to meet you IRL! How can I do that?”
You had me at “IRL.” If you want to get to know me, you probably already know how to reach out to me. The best way to create a network isn’t to just shake hands blindly, but to seek and target. Once you know who should be the next introduction, then you can start building rapport.
Comment on blogs, tweet and retweet, and beginning a dialog leads to building a relationship. When that happens, should job openings come my way, the IRL group will always be top-of-mind, not the handshakers.
Forget networking, I’m all about IRL.
How do you wade through the networking sea? Is it becoming easier to target those you would like to get to know? What are other ways to avoid networking blindly?
Photo credit.
Love this post, Emily. I’ve been feeling burnt out on the networking lately, too. I’ve pared my schedule down to only attending the events that I’m REALLY interested in, where maybe I know a couple people, but will make new interesting connections. Going to the same old groups with the same people is feeling like a waste of time these days.
.-= Jenn Sutherland´s last blog ..Roasted Rhubarb with White Wine and Vanilla =-.
Hi Jenn, I’ve actually ended up going to a lot of events to hang out with friends. I don’t even network anymore because I don’t want to talk to 10 people I won’t ever hear from again. Instead, hanging with the people I do know, I might meet only one other person, but that will be a quality introduction. That’s the value I’m looking for…
Provocative post, as you often put it out there! The underlying issue, at least in my experience, is networking as quality vs quantity. Collecting business cards you will never use is essentially the same sport as collecting friends on Facebook and connections on Linked In IF you assume that is all you need to do. It’s what you do with the connections, and with the invites that matters to me.
One last thought — the people who want to network with you may be naive on some dimensions but able to offer a lot to you on others. You and I may be a great case in point….I’m ‘senior’ on some professional dimensions, but clearly look up to you for other areas where you have been a gem to me and generous with your experience.
Looking forward to connecting IRL and on line!
.-= marc sokol´s last blog ..Power, politics and the expectation that you love your company brand: What customer reps will never tell you =-.
Howdy Marc, you’re right on about how we think more is better, but sometimes, it’s not even close to the quality of one or two. Your other note about how some may not be as savvy brings up a good perspective: there are the ones who try and the ones who don’t. You yourself are trying (and doing well), and even long before you were more open-minded to the opportunities in the internet world. That is very different from those who are still out there considering blogging or social media a waste of time. Sure, these are tools to be used or abused, but to never be considered part of business today is concerning. Thanks for the comment!
I think the fact that you’re writing this from the perspective of those who are networked with raises an interesting point, namely the issue of supply and demand. If networking is being held up as the be all and end all of job search approaches (and I’ve already written extensively about the assumptions that underlie this advice, so I won’t belabor that), we’re going to hit a point where the critical mass of would-be networkers is going to dramatically outnumber their prospective connections and we’ll end up with more experiences like yours – being subject to inept or unprepared folks wasting your time because they heard networking/glad-handing was the way to generate job leads, but who have no clue how to put this advice into useful practice.
Critical mass! Sorry, I got really excited when you said that. I think we’ll see networking changing. It’s already happening thanks to the tweetup. I know I’ll take personal responsibility for picking the wrong kinds of events. Sure, you may still need to go to one to see it’s wrong for you, but then you move on. What will be interesting if the networking market then follows where the interest goes, or if the unprepared folks are left in the dust. Thanks for the comment GenMeh!
I agree with you on so many levels. I’ve often found networking to be tiresome. And I am steadily learning to capitalise on other connections I make via the ‘net. This is not to discount IRLs like you said, but the tedium of it is enough to keep me away.
I totally agree with J’s critical mass comment. We could do all the schmoozing we want, but at some point, that’s about as far as it will get. There’s a time and a place, I say, and make the connections you feel will contribute mutually to growth!
.-= mehnaz´s last blog ..In Good Company =-.
Mehnaz, you’re a net connection that I would love to add to the future IRL list. I think the more I interact with people online, the higher the quality. I find I sift through more “spam” when going to networking events instead of online. Thanks!
Very interesting post…
“At this point, I only have my website on my business card. If you can’t figure it out from there, then tough cookies.” Great point. Honestly, if professionals can’t utilize social media or the Internet in general to make connections, it says a lot about their limited skill set. And I am not sure I would like to do business with someone with such limitations in this day and age.
Well said!
.-= Demetra´s last blog ..“Damn…What do I do Now?”, said the College Graduate =-.
Demetra, this networking craziness has even impacted my view of companies as future clients. It’s not just not knowing social media, but as pointed out above, if you collect cards with no intention of following up, it will hurt you. I know I’ve actually had a company’s name removed from a bid list because not one of the people I met returned my emails (after inviting me to come visit with them). If they can’t respond to their own invitation, why would I trust them with real work?
I don’t think I’m burnt on networking but maybe we have to approach it like a diet- it’s not a temporary thing where you go all out but a lifestyle change where you take everything in moderation.
I don’t go to networking events all the time nor do I strive to constantly expand my network- however when I run across contacts in my travels or when I see an opportunity I go for it.
.-= Dmbosstone´s last blog ..The Quarterlife Crisis Series: Patrice S. =-.
Patrick, networking is a lifestyle change. I think a lot of people hope to show up to a happy hour and everything work out. In fact, it can take a lot of work. The lack of preparation kind of bothers me because it’s a waste of time. I know my switch to more focus should yield better results…or at least keep my cocktail budget in check. Thanks!
Hey Emily,
Interesting post…. my first thought was – people actually do that (are that naive with the internet and just want you to help them find a job)? For me (being in rural MN) networking opps with other marketers is hard to find…. so I do most online (so here I am!) Most people I will probably never meet IRL – but with the power of twitter, Facebook, Linkedin, blogs, it is great to still “meet” people. And it is a little less exhausting. Good luck with your move and new path!
.-= Jackie´s last blog ..A Special Needs Dad Look at an Alternative Therapy: Hyperbaric Oxygen Treatment =-.
Jackie, it’s very true. Someone else who I know here locally read the post and was like, That is so funny and so true! She has the same thought process as me apparently. “Meeting” is the way to do things now, and as we continue to get more comfortable with not just the networks, but Skype and other ways to continue to build relationships, we’ll find collecting 40 cards just won’t be necessary anymore. Thanks!
Great post, Emily! I find that volunteering with organizations that are of interest to me is a fabulous way to ‘wade through the networking sea.’ For me, it’s easier to connect with those I’m working along side to achieve a common goal. The connections I’ve made through volunteering are much more genuine. Plus, the people that I work with can notice my strengths and I can take note of theirs.
Stacy, I got connected to great people through volunteering. We actually then started to go to some events together, and it really turned into someone planning our social calendar instead of mass networking. I hope when I move again, I find another group through volunteering to keep me connected. Thanks!
Sorry I’m late to the game on this one, but wow — I had no idea people pimped you for jobs. On one hand, that’s sorta awesome. Good for you, Em! On the other, annoying.
Obvs I fall into the unemployed department, but I’ve been pimped for jobs many times. I hear ya.
Spend your last few weeks doing all your local faves — restaurants, walks, unique shops, etc. Savor, savor, savor!
.-= Meg´s last blog ..Who’s The Boss: Does Gender Matter? =-.
Hey Meg, sorry for the late reply. Pimp is a great word. I was talking to someone else, and that was the same word she used. Now, I haven’t met you IRL, but I know if there were opportunities I ran across, I’d probably forward them to you right away. You and I have gotten to know each other online more than some people I know locally. You make a great effort to connect with people, and I think that’s going to serve you for a really long time!
[…] Done with Networking […]
Okay, I am SUPER late to the debate, but you know – I am reemerging from my cocoon to tell you that I think this post is awesome. I struggle a lot with the networking aspects of career (offline and online) and I think this is an important dialogue to have. My business card has a few more things on it – but you’re right, it is really about the internet relationships 🙂
Beth, howdy! Are you a butterfly now? When I think about all the people I’ve connected with over the years, the ones where we can pick up where we left off, even though it’s been months/years since we last spoke are the greatest connections. If it weren’t for all of them, someone who moves as much as I do would be out of luck. Now, my network is becoming more virtual, but important all the same. I feel like I’m allowed to be picky now, and I don’t think it’s a bad thing. It’s probably more unusual since I’m an extrovert, but that doesn’t matter anymore. I think it’s important to figure out what you really want, not just what you should do. Thanks!