Timeliness is a huge issue with me. I have a hurry-up-and-wait philosophy because I feel like if I’m going to do something, I should be there in time to do it. We also know that being on time is a sign of respect to your host or with whomever you’re meeting.
But what about the people around you? Does your timeliness portray respect to them as well?
I would say so. People notice if you’re perpetually late. Sure, it might be acceptable if there’s an emergency, but you shouldn’t exactly brag about your tardiness routine.
Respect is an interesting thing, especially because it has this funny little habit of rubbing off on those around you. It’s something that you use to earn a reputation. When you show respect for someone, a happy side effect is that others respect you as well. So, naturally, timing and respect can mean a lot more than just being punctual.
We see this in the workplace frequently. If you show up on time regularly to meet with Tim, the people in the cubes and offices surrounding Tim’s office will probably know you’re always on time. Word gets around, and people are more willing to give you some of their time if they can count on you to be prompt.
So what’s the deal with lateness affecting others?
First, we notice that you clearly don’t have respect for whomever you’re meeting with. Second, you are a distraction to others around, and you can show lack of respect to them. A classroom is a great example: we can always count on people being late to class, the whole class turning to see who came in, and the teacher possibly losing his train of thought. Sure, there may be extreme examples of having to hike it across campus in less than 15 minutes, but if that’s not an excuse, what is? You couldn’t be bothered to wear a watch?
What’s next when others know they can’t count on you to be on time? In high school, maybe we let it slide. Even now we may give wiggle room to our friends. But we probably get a little peeved when a tardy friend means you have to rush or miss something. What if you’re in a new group of people? They’ll associate your friend’s tardiness with you. What about professionally? Do you really want to meet with people who could throw off your schedule? Does lateness translate to missing deadlines? Are you in the company of a perpetual procrastinator?
If you can help it, I encourage you to consider the start time of something to be the actual start time. If you have to be at work at 8am, be ready to work at 8am (which means you probably should have dropped your things off and grabbed your legal pad at 7:55). You should understand that if you are constantly late, it isn’t just a reflection upon you. It can be a reflection on your team, classmates, coworkers, or friends. If you don’t have enough respect for yourself to change your ways, let alone respecting others, then don’t be surprised if they lose all respect for you.
Photo credit.
Amen to this, to the millionth degree. I despise chronic tardiness. Mainly, because unlike asthma or something, it can be avoided. ALL THE TIME.
Note, I said chronic. As in within 30 days, you are late for ten or more meetings. (I know plenty who are late for 100% of them.) It can be avoided, especially if you have respect for what you are doing.
I am in community theatre a lot. less than 5% of any rehearsals in my ten years as an actor actually start at the appointed time. Because “rehearsal at 7:00” invariably means to most people, “Be physically present in the building someplace when 7:00 rolls around.”
Which of course is not enough, because you have things to do as soon as you get into the building. Bathroom. Putting your stuff away. That sort of thing. So starting at 7 is out of the question.
But it gets better. Most people have a natural “window” of 15 minutes, during which they assume if they arrive, they are “basically on time.” So to those types, being merely physically present in the building at 7:15 for a 7:00 rehearsal is acceptable. But then tack on the getting settled time I mentioned, and such folks are not rehearsal ready until 7:30 or so. Multiply that by several people, and nothing ever starts on time. And because people don’t get paid, they feel they can’t be made to show up on time. But as you say; respect. If you respect a production and your cast mates, you are on time, even if you are a volunteer.
I don’t like to be any later than 6:45 for a 7:00PM rehearsal. In fact I tend to be 15 minutes earlier than I need to be for just about anything.
I also love people who are at home, or wherever they are, and see they are due to be someplace at 7:00, and at 6:00 they haven’t even started getting ready, because they “have an hour.” Yet the ignore the fact that it takes them an hour to get ready plus 20 minutes to drive to the destination. As though this information literally does not compute into their mind. As though they can teleport directly to somewhere, ergo they can sleep that extra 20 minutes.
80% of people who are chronically late to something say the same thing when they show up. “SorrySorrySorry”. (Not a typo…they run it together like that a faux cheerful, “aren’t I such a scamp for being the late one every day” voice that makes me want to make them permanently late.
Ty, I love your little rant comment, and I know JUST what you’re talking about. It’s why I stopped doing theater because I felt like there was such a waste of time because not only could we never start on time, but people also never came prepared. That’s a huge thing for me, too…be prepared! My friend and I both used to follow the better early policy, so we always knew we’d both arrive well ahead of time for whatever we were going to do. It was so nice…
I completely agree with this one! I hate it when people are late, and I have a habit of being early for everything.
One of my choir conductors used to say, “5 minutes early is 10 minutes too late”, meaning, be 15 minutes early to rehearsal. I pretty much use this philosophy in my daily life.
The other thing is, that when someone is late, it sets a tone for that meeting. So even if i’m really excited to see a friend, and she’s late, I’m now a little bit less excited. Sometimes this can be noticeable, and sometimes it isn’t.
I generally tell people something is going to start 15 minutes earlier than it actually is, just so they can all be there by the real start time (it’s my dirty little secret).
It all comes down to respect as you said: for others, and for yourself.
Mehnaz, thanks for reminding us tardiness sets a tone. That little bit of disappointment or frustration is always annoying. Unfortunately, if it’s common for someone to be late, you start off frustrated, and it can snowball. I do think we need to address tardiness more than we do (other than when we were in school). Some people just don’t pick up on peeved-off expressions, and they may need something direct long before it gets to the “Come on, buy a watch already” point. Thanks!
Great post! I, too, agree that chronic tardiness to work displays a lack of respect for your co-workers and their time. It also shows that you are disorganized and have poor time management skills.
Right Carrie, if you make tardiness a habit, especially early on at a job or something, people will wonder why you were hired. Being disorganized and having poor time management are usually pretty big red flags early on because it gets worse the higher you go up in an organization. Thanks!