My mother once told me, “Don’t forget to get married.” I guess she figured if I was so focused on my career, I’d be oblivious to those gentlemen who were going to come a’courting. And then my friends shared with me this video about a five-year old girl who has already figured out her priorities:
Yep, she isn’t going to get married until she has a job first. All you guys looking for someone to chain to the stove, turn right around and walk away. She isn’t having any of it.
I don’t know if I was that committed to my future at five, but I also know kids pick up a lot from the world around them. Apparently this little girl’s older sister is trying to start a music career, something that requires a lot of time and concentration. Her parents could have experienced ups and downs with their own careers, as well, especially thanks to the Recession.
Personally, I like to control things, so I can understand the desire to have a job before a man. Even with job insecurity, sometimes a 9-5 is more reliable than a significant other. People are human, so by their nature we can’t control everything that they do, say, or think. At least if my company might have to lay people off, there was probably warnings in the financial statements. People can behave badly out of nowhere.
I’m not saying that I would put my career before spouse, family, or friends. However, I do see how we can have a workaholic culture. Sometimes we just really love our careers!
Ideally, you can have both the amazing job and the supportive partner. And then you can put videos of the funny things your own kids say up on YouTube.
Aww…cute; but a bit unfortunate too. I grew up in the 80s (ha, I’m old enough to remember the Barbie commercial jingle of “We girls can do anything, right Barbie?) when women were really making inroads in the professional workplace. However while accessibility to professional opportunities are increasing for women, job stability is decreasing for all workers. Gone are the days (pretty much) where you can get a great job in your early 20s, put 40 years in, and retire happily ever after. I’m only 30 and I’ve already had twice as many jobs as I thought I would have by now! And this is not by choice. It is due to layoffs, mergers, etc. Therefore to place so much emotional importance on a job is not healthy. Your work should not be your life because jobs are precarious. A spouse on the other hand can help you weather these career changes and adjust your perspective a bit.
Take it from me, in addition to being 30 I am also not married.
Hey Rishona, thanks for bringing the other perspective to the table. I think for me, since I haven’t ever gotten much support out of romantic relationships, I prefer to focus on family and friends. In reality, I know down the line I’d really like a spouse who can be not just a great friend and husband, but who will also challenge me as I do make priorities for career and family. Thanks so much!
I’d love to see that little girl in 20 years!!! All my life I wanted to be this tough as nails business woman… and then I met the man of my dreams shortly before graduating from college. What the real moral of my story is that you CAN have a career AND have the man… you just have to be open to all opportunities that come your way!
Great post, btw.
Bre
Bre! I know, imagine what she’s going to say when 1) her future husband asks about this video, and 2) if this video follows her throughout her career. I do believe there’s a balance, but like you said, you need to be open (and in my case, that probably includes keeping my eyes open, too, since I’m usually oblivious to things). I appreciate you sharing your positive experience here, thanks!!
I think this video is perfect for the little girl’s Rehearsal Dinner…in case the groom isn’t aware of his bride’s priorities!
Terri, you nailed it on the head! Perfect for the rehearsal dinner or engagement party 🙂
Ah yes. Millennial women are thinking more about how they can shape their futures through their passion and their work rather than prioritizing marriage and children. I just wrote a blog post about Levi’s Shape What’s to Come Campaign that touches on Millennial women’s need for mentorship from each other, as we choose paths that include more choices.
http://annaholcombe.wordpress.com/2011/03/25/190/
Love how this blog post says something similar!
Anna, thanks for sharing your post! I’ll take a look at it. I also just took a survey from ForbesWoman about careers and relationships, essentially dissecting our priorities and how career may affect those alternate ambitions. I’ll be interested in seeing the data when they come out with it. I have found that in my peer group, one side is married and already having their second child, or the other side is like me and potentially may not see marriage for a long while. I guess you have to be aware of your situation, be open to opportunity as Bre says above, and then be active if you do want change to happen. Thanks for commenting!