In the past few months, life has changed. I moved from Minneapolis to St. Louis, then to Blacksburg. I left my job and started an MBA program. I have a completely new kind of schedule.
All of that brings me to this conclusion: I find that I’m just not online as often anymore.
Contributing to the online world was so easy when I spent all 
day at a computer. It was part of my job, and so I could monitor, read, comment, and share. Ironically enough, social media is still part of my job, but that’s only 10 hours a week.
What happened to the rest of the time?
Part of it is the physical limitation of no longer being in front of a computer. We don’t use them in most of my classes to minimize distraction. I then have homework, meetings, group work, and lots of walking between ends of campus. I can sometimes reply to something on my phone, but more often than not, I glance at the screen, then put the phone away. There isn’t the opportunity to be as connected anymore.
Did I mention I’m a co-founder of a chapter of the National Association of Women MBAs? That takes up time. Plus the MBA Association, networking, and time spent getting to know students in other departments. Sure, I could get to know them from the comfort of my room, using online communities the same way I’ve gotten to know bloggers all over the world. But they’re here, IRL. I need to get to know them.
Participating in social media stops being like breathing when you need a different air source. It makes me think of when you snorkle: you need oxygen, but you need the mask to help you breathe instead of just inhaling water. I may have been like a fish before, but now I’m a regular human. Being in this situation gives me a new perspective, understanding what it’s like for those who just don’t have the time to be online 24/7. You can be plugged in constantly to your phone or computer, but do you really want to?
I guess my answer is: no.
You may think it’s crazy for me to say it, but there’s more to life than social media. Actually, trying to have a life online is pretty hard if you’re always staring at a screen. I’ll still be blogging, tweeting, commenting, etc. Don’t worry, I’m not going away. But I’m encouraging you to take a moment and think about how much time are you focusing on your online life instead of your real one. I talked about making time for the life events once, and I think it still holds true now that I’ve had a taste of what it’s like to be back in the real world.
Have you made time for real life? Instead of the work-life balance, do you find that it’s the online-real life balance? What tips do you have for people who want to unplug?
Emily — What a great post. I recently switched jobs and no longer have access to social media outlets all day. I also have a heavier work load, so there isn’t as much time to participate from my phone.
I believe in social media and enjoy participating in it, but it is no longer a large part of my day. The weird thing is, I feel guilty because of this.
I know I should be participating more, but I have larger responsibilities and more going on in IRL that takes priority.
Thanks for sharing!
Hey Amanda, I know we went through transitions at the same time, and I had been wondering if you were experiencing the same thing. I was feeling pretty guilty for a while there. And then I realized, I don’t really have to. I do want to still reply to blog comments, and I’d really like to reply to other bloggers more frequently. I need to figure out what’s important to me (comments) and maybe not spend as much time worrying about everything.
Emily — I believe what you and Amanda are each experiencing is what I call a ‘shift in mindfulness’. We each condition ourselves to see the world through a particular lens through our activities and at some point begin to do it almost unconsciously. Then when we change activities in a dramatic way (intentionally or not), we become aware of the change in mental focus.
As a photographer I used to see the world though the potential of a camera lens and frame my travel experience anticipation of some future framed picture on a wall. It enhanced my photographer’s eye, but also created a barrier to just experiencing much of what was occurring around me. So I began to leave my camera at home on purpose. I could still see the photographic potential, but began to set that aside as my primary lens. In time you begin to balance the two and can reintroduce the camera, without letting it dominate how you see things.
The same holds true for people who go to meetings driven to network vs. just to engage, or for people who see the world as an opportunity to tweet or blog, or who wholly guided by some other agenda. Sometimes it takes a change to discover the mindfulness that has been guiding our behavior.
I look forward to you continuing to blog and connect IRL, just with a richer perspective as these new experiences fill your consciousness. …And make sure you find time to enjoy the Fall in Blacksburg…. the countryside is ‘picture-perfect’!
Marc, I love your comment “people who go to meetings driven to network vs. just to engage.” I think we need to explore what we want from the activities we participate in, and then decide are they worth the time. My IRL network was much smaller in MN, but here I was thrown into a big group from day one. I want to spend time building those relationships, and hopefully not lose the ones I cultivated online.
And yes, SO excited for fall here!
Emily this is a pretty great post. I definitely try and make my weekends full of fun things to do and see and getting off the computer. Occasionally that can’t happen, but right now I am very much immersed in the online world and attached to the computer. I had this thought though when I was out enjoying this beautiful fall festival here in nature this past saturday that I was missing things on Twitter and how other people kept up AND had a life. I QUICKLY realized missing things on twitter is going to happen, and that I definitely have the best of both worlds sometimes – no need to “Keep Up”
Jenn, I’m with you on taking “weekends off.” I used to wonder why some sites still put up content on weekends (unless they were the news). I guess I can understand, however, if that the time you actually have available. I do a lot of writing on Sundays. I try to go where there’s no internet so I can actually get my thoughts on the page instead of being distracted by Facebook.
I also was feeling like I miss things, then I remembered I miss things in front of me. For example, a lot of my fellow MBA students have realized that I’m behind on “the happenings” by about 5 or 6 days. So I don’t worry about missing things online anymore…
I’ve definitely been there- I probably still am. Even though I finished a monster of a stage managing job that kept me away from blogging and social media I am now throwing myself into my job and overdue personal projects that were neglected by my previous show.
In my former job I tried to control how often I would check Twitter and Goggle Reader- trying to check it during certain times and anytime I was bored in line. Now when Twitter is my 9-5 life I feel I’m a bit more addicted to it than ever. My Google Reader habit is still in control and will build up unread posts when I get busier than usual but I don’t let it get to me.
As of Facebook I’ve almost completely let it fall out of my life outside a check when I get up and before I go to bed. It’s really funny how social media stays and falls out of your life when real life gets in the way.
But to your point we can not only survive without it we can continue to stay social on it. By prioritizing my social networks I am still able to network and meet new people through Twitter.
Patrick, hey sorry about the delay in my reply, kind of is the example of this blog post. Anyways…it’s funny because I feel like I’m on facebook more now because a lot of my classmates only use facebook. It’s fine, but I almost feel like maybe I should be linking my facebook and twitter again, that’s still up in the air though. I think we adapt to what we need, and I will say, it’s nice that social media allows you to do that. Perhaps even if it feels like there’s a billion sites, and WHY do we belong to all of them, we realize we do that because we need different ones at different times…thanks!!
This is an interesting post and the ideas you’ve raised are ones I’ve been dealing with myself the last few months. Right since I was introduced to Social Media, I knew that it would never replace IRL networking for me. And so honestly, my motive for being on the medium was never to network. It was to seek interesting information. And now, when I do meet interesting people online, I make it a point and go out of my way to try and meet them IRL or collaborate with them in some way in order to make a deeper human connection.
Personally for me, unplugging hasn’t been much of an issue. Funnily, I use the lack of a data plan on my phone to unplug 🙂
I really relate to what Marc says. Your world is how you see it. Remove any barriers and you’ll get a fresher perspective.
So happy to learn you’re having fun at school! B-school contributed to the best 2 years of my life and drastically changed the way I approached life.
Sabera, same apology to you for the delay in responding. Ironically enough, even with my plan on my phone, I tend to check and not really “do.” And I can’t get the wordpress app to work to reply here, anyways.
And school is awesome, and I think it was the perfect choice. I’ve even blogged for the school already!
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