I am a firm believer in covering your butt. Not just literally, but preparing yourself to handle those situations where your fight or flight instincts go into full gear. It’s why I secretly pour over those advice columns and embarrassing story entries thinking, “Good thing I know what to do if that happens to me.” Essentially, I’m hoping that by reading about a similar situation beforehand, my brain will automatically jump to the proper reaction instead of leaving me in the lurch.
Did I mention I hate sticky situations?
While I may be squeamish about awkward and embarrassing scenarios, I still have this compulsion to do the research and be in the know. When The Modern Girl’s Guide to Sticky Situations showed up on my doorstep, it was one of those “Ahhhhhh!” angels chorus type moments. Here it was, all the research written in one spot!
Author Jane Buckingham covers the gamut of sticky situations you might find yourself in, from entertaining company on the fly to calling off your wedding. It’s 300+ pages of what ifs, mishaps, and questions you’ve always wanted to ask but were never brave enough to spit out.
This survival guide is so hardcore, it comes with a plastic book cover.
“This is the book to turn to when you have nowhere to turn, or are simply too embarrassed to turn anywhere (publicly),” writes Jane. “A book that answers the sorts of question you’d only feel comfortable posing to your best friend, but which only your mom, grandma, or gynecologist, or cleaning lady — okay, any woman who secretly intimidates the hell out of you — knows the answer to.”
Most of us need a little help in the sticky situation department. Jane covers the biggie areas like love, home, family, money, work, and more; plus she has great sub-sections like The Ex-Files, in addition to letters written by women like us who need advice. I have to admit, some of her entries on Googling people and working with your boss make me think she’s been reading my mind.
Jane, who has been writing the bestselling Modern Girls Guide series, has a whole section dedicated to those sticky situations at work. Helpful advice for working women includes hints on what to do if:
- Someone steals your idea
- Your boss says something offensive
- You have to fire a friend
- You need to negotiate a raise
- Someone who does a less-than-amazing job asks you for a recommendation
- Your boss makes an unwelcome pass at you
The best part is that advice all across this book can apply to work. “Sticky Situations On the Go” covers things like ordering wine (something you may do at a client dinner) or having your hotel room changed when traveling for business. Pretty much everything in the “Beauty, Fashion, and Shopping” section can apply when building your office-appropriate wardrobe and making yourself presentable for human consumption. Face it, we all have had that bad haircut or botched self tan that makes you want to take a sick day…
What I love about this book is not only is it written to speak in the language of the Modern Girl, but the short entries fit the Modern Girl’s busy schedule. I would consider this book an excellent commuter book, easy to pick up and put down between all the trains, planes, and buses we take to get where we’re going. You can also flip back and forth, getting to what you need, and for a quick fix, the giant index will point you in the right direction ASAP.
Finally, Jane’s the kind of woman that I want to know IRL. Plus, she knows what IRL means because she includes her contact info AND twitter handle (@jane_buckingham) in the Afterward of her book. This guide is a way to start a conversation, allowing you to connect with other women (and some men), and even the author.
“Because a mess is only as sticky as you let it be, and no situation is too sticky to let today’s Modern Girl ever come truly unglued.”
Do you think you need to add The Modern Girl’s Guide to Sticky Situations to your own survival kit? You can! HarperCollins has provided me with one free copy to share with one of my readers! Leave a comment below telling us about your own sticky situation and how you go out of it. I’ll compile the entries and randomly pick the winner. All comments should be submitted by 12:00 Noon Central Tuesday, August 3rd to qualify. Good luck!
You can also find the book at Amazon.com, also available for Kindle.
WE HAVE A WINNER!
Our winner today is Kristin!! Congrats Kristin, and I hope you enjoy the book! Thank you also to everyone who entered and tweeted!
So I can’t think of a specific sticky situation that I’ve been in [recently or otherwise], but Emily suggested best advice, so here’s mine:
Life’s tough. Get a helmet.
I always remind myself, especially when things aren’t going my way or are more difficult than usual, that my situation or life could be way worse, could be completely different, and not to take it all for granted. Because at that exact moment, someone is having a way worse time than I am, so I should be grateful for what I have and simply deal with the situation.
Rachel, I love that advice. I think many people are shocked when, once on their own, the amount of power responsibility has over their lives. Looking situations in the face is always the best approach.
Thanks for the great write-up Emily! Hope your readers like the book. I love writing them and love to hear when people like them… Jane Buckingham
Hi Jane! I really enjoyed your book, and I know some people on twitter have been quiet excited. I think a lot of us know we’ll have to navigate our own way through sticky situations, but if we share our own experiences, we might save someone else the misery. Thanks for all the sharing you do!
Sounds like a great book! A mishap I had was a dress strap popping off when I was at the Belmont a couple of years ago. I think I ended up tying it around my bra so it would at least be less obvious lol.
In terms of advice for sticky situations, I always try to make the most of it and be positive. Even though it might be embarrassing at the time, chances are no one will remember it for very long. And even if they do, laugh it off and learn from it for the future.
Sam, finding humor in the situation is always great advice. I know that I usually am mortified in the moment, but if I’m the first to joke, it’s not so bad. We joke a lot in my family because we all do silly things.
Strap accidents seem to be like Murphy’s law: always bound to happen. I’ve even replaced straps on dresses with heavy duty ones or sewn removable ones to the dress, just in case they decide to come undone. So far, so good!
One (not so recent sticky situation): Back in high school we had to wear uniforms with button down shirts. Well the shirts all came from the same place–and were honestly pretty cheap–and one day I had a button pop off at the bust line! I had to rush into the bathroom with a stapler and staple the shirt onto myself so that I wouldn’t have a wardrobe malfunction a la Janet Jackson!
It really helped to take a calm look at the situation and what options I had.
Alexandra, I had a similar situation but with my bra itself. Some sports bras come with the zipper in the front, and after gym one day, the zipper broke. I had to take a paper clip, loop it through the zipper hole, and then “thread” it through the top of the bra fabric. I know if you break your zipper on pants, you can use a hair elastic, thread it through, then loop the extra around the top button. And when you stop in think, there are always options that present themselves. Thanks!
Thanks for the book find! A manual for real life and real life sticky situations. We all want to retract from a sticky situation with a certain style and grace. Not to mention have ways to recover from untimely wardrobe malfunctions. As you said Emily, having some up-front, before it happens knowledge give one the preparedness and confidence to seize the day, no matter what sh** is hitting the fan. The by-product I think in handling a sticky situation well, especially the relationship kind, whether it’s boss, boy friend, colleague or foe, can show you’re the bigger person and sets a positive example of how to handle the tough stuff for others.
Hi Kristin, you’re right, it is all about being a good example. I think that’s how we feel when we look at celebrity melt-downs: I would never handle it that way! So the example works both ways, I guess. Confidence does a lot to help you out in sticky situations, as well as stopping to think (plus research). Also, I think those little voices in our heads we ignore are there for a reason. I’m sure many times when we look back, we know the little voice was there to help us out, should we have listened to it. Thanks!
Most recent sticky situation: I forgot that Facebook is no longer the solely the province of college friends, and happily updated my status to show that I had passed part of the CPA exam… which offended both my godfather who saw it, and my grandmother…whose sister saw it, and called her to tell her. All within about 15 minutes after I hit the submit button. I spent about half an hour on the phone with each reassuring them that, in fact, I had only not called them to personally share my triumph because of the late hour…not b/c I didn’t want to share the good news with them.
It’s a good thing they accepted 9 p.m. as being late! (I had planned to tell them when I had passed all four…b/c if you don’t pass all four within 18 months you have to retake sections…not a conversation I want to have w/ my family!)
Shayna, I have just come to believe that I will only hear news from people through Facebook. I’m shocked when someone actually wants to call and share the news. Now, for my own announcements, like getting into grad school, I did call my most immediate family…but then the rest of them found out when the world did through my blog.
I totally feel for you, especially if you did a quick update and probably hadn’t even thought of negative reactions (because it’s great news, only positive reactions, right?). It looks like you got out pretty good, but I know so many similar stories. Maybe in a few years, it won’t be so bad. Until then, there’s always speed dial.
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